Thursday, September 9, 2010

If only I could live by these words


How exactly do you learn to do this?
I have been told to just do this and I will be fine. Yeah, Thanks but I need the map to this place. I can't seem to find it. I think it stems from fear of the unknown and being unprepared for it.
I have been called a strong woman which is a role I no longer want. To be strong I need to be able to handle anything which means I need to know what is coming which of course is all about control. Control has ruined many things.
I have dabbled in this before and usually I get my toes just dipped in to a boatload of work it will take to unravel me and I quit. It is just too much work. It is easier to stay tight and protected in my safety net, right? It feels like I am looking over the ledge into a deep, dark, pitch black hole and I have NO IDEA what is lurking down there. I can't stand the idea of how deep it may be or what might be creeping around down there.
I am afraid of the dark.

2 comments:

MOM said...

Maybe the Serenity Prayer would be better- God help me to the willingness to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Love, Mom

MOM said...

Screwed up- it should say: give me the willingness to accept, etc. I've already accepted my screw-up :)Mom

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40