Friday, July 24, 2015

1 more wake up

Good Lord I have almost made it. This has been the longest month of my life.
The stats: In 5 weeks I have worked 7 OT shifts and only had 6 days off.
That doesn't sound so bad but it feels like shit. The good news is after tonight I work 1/2 a shift and then Olivia and I are headed to Vermont. I have a list or 2 because my brain is shit. Tomorrow we pack the car and tie up our loose ends. Can't wait.
I put her on Pinterest for some cooking ideas. I am thinking we might eat and lounge and hopefully have some fun. I had planned a different weekend but really I have thrown most ideas out the window and I will just do whatever comes up.
My plan had been to hike Mt Ascutney. This is still the plan if we can because I would love to share a hike with her but I am also ok if we drive it and just hike enough to see the waterfalls.
Expectations are super low at this point. I would like to just repair the relationship with my daughter and get some rest.
I have a few cool and easy craft ideas, cooking surprises and card games planned. That to me is camping.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Robin Hood X 2

Sunday the girls and I headed to Bass Pro. What a cool store. I wanted to look at the camping section and figured there would be enough stuff to entertain them as well. The girls jumped into a little 10 minute hunting/shooting class. They played with a suction cup shooting gallery and then a video shooting gallery where they did some deer hunting. I picked out some basic bow and arrows and asked the girls if they would be interested. Well Hiddy-ho they were pretty excited. 
We walked around patriot Place and grabbed some lunch before I quickly began to expire and we headed home. 
Much to Ava's dismay I made them wait to open the bow's until we could get some help. Luckily Daddy was able to stop by after work Monday and give them some tips. Ava took to it pretty fast. Liv did well but seemed frustrated so we will keep working. Hopefully we can get a better target soon. Right now they are shooting at a small cardboard box. I don't think they realize the smaller the target the more difficult it is. 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Happy Thursday....Well Happy Monday,Tuesday and Wednesday too.

I think I may back up and re-name this post Happy Days off. No need to pad the Blog with 2-3 posts when we can just jam in all into one. 
Actually Carla and I were just talking about the lack of memory with no sleep. I can attest to that. I like to take pictures of our adventures and I find this helps me to keep track of where we have been and when. I literally just started this post about Tuesday and went to the photos and found it actually was Monday when that took place. I will add I see photos from Sunday nights trip to Coonamessett Pond which I had forgotten about all together. I guess I am pulling off an ok Summer by the looks of my photo album although unconventional time wise.  

Sunday- A trip and a dip in Coonamesset pond. Not the safest I have felt but we are trying to find places that Lilly can join us and swim. There were some families there when we arrived but they were soon replaced with young adults with pockets of beer and started building a fire. So kids, how about some ice cream,,,,,Exit stage left. 

Monday- It is usually a blur of exhaustion by this time of week but after a nap I can get some motivation in the afternoon to find some adventure. Today we headed to Yarmouth for some mini golf and also mechanical bull riding. That was some funny shit! Well worth the $5 a kid for 3 rides.  I even approved ice cream again. Ya know what I'm the Mother and I can do what I want. Besides I fed them dinner when we got home. I just changed the order of things. 

Tuesday-This is the day that usually screws us all up. It is actually my last day on but after a nap it feels like my day off. I know I can be in bed early and sleep through the night. Woohoo! I can't for the life of me remember what I did all day but I think it included laundry. Anyway by 3:30 we had a diagnosis for the car and a repair plan and we were headed to the Mashpee Splash pad. This was happily followed by Taco night. Taco Tuesday folks!

Wednesday- Ava had a friend over for a while and I got the house somewhat cleaned up. I am past perfection when it comes to the house. Fuck it, we live there it isn't a museum. I am learning to let go of a lot of stuff lately. It is ok to lay in your bed and watch TV if the kids are fed, playing and happy. 
After he left we dashed to Luke's Love Playground before the rain came. It was grey but we never really got hit with it. Ava packed a snack bag and her folder which came in handy to list the 10 items on the Scavenger hunt there. We let Pizzerio Uno cook dinner too. $4.99 make your own pizza is a favorite.

Thursday-It's always Thursday that I wake up feeling the closest to normal. I have goals and want to make plans again instead of the 'just surviving' feeling that sets in about Sunday or Monday. I know I need time to get used to this shift -whatever.  After coffee in the yard with Lilly I just leisurely started weeding this garden. I felt bad for the veggies actually. They looked more like they were growing in a patch of lawn. As you can see they are happy now in clean dirt. I have a zucchini ready for picking and a tiny yellow Summer squash coming. Lot of flowers too. Mixed in are a couple plants with a purple trumpet type flower which I have no idea where it came from but they stayed just for their beauty. This soon lead me to  start weeding my walk-way our front. It isn't used but we were starting to look a little rough around the edges as their were more weeds than stone. The back lawn even got mowed before I managed to break the lawn mower. Oh well, time to move onto something else.

I try to get out with the dog as much as possible and today I really wanted to hike again at Peterson Farm. It was beautiful last time we went. Ava opted to go shopping with Auntie and I think Olivia is trying to prove she is a hiker. 
Over the last 2 days we have talked about my camping trip to Vermont. It is a trip I planned to take alone for many reasons but now some of those reasons just don't seem to matter as much. So when she asked if she could come I didn't answer her but I just started thinking. Hmmm, maybe. I explained I really wanted to hike a lot and had planned this trip when they were with their Dad as I wasn't sure it was a kid trip. Her question- hiking more than 4 hours? Well no, I don't think so and I plan on stopping and taking breaks even on long hikes. It isn't a race. 
I never really said yes but we have been brainstorming and talking about it ever since and she seems really interested. I so want the kids to do outside stuff with me but they don't so I plan without them. Ava, a hard as this is to say, is not always easy. 
I am actually starting to think what a great idea this is. She is 12 and can totally do what I have planned. She makes me laugh as she has no idea how we will make breakfast and she wants to bring her own tent and sleep alone. I even asked if she wanted to go to the BBQ-fest and she says I like BBQ as long as it isn't hot. I might just have a camping partner again. :)

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Blue Hills - Braintree Pass Path to Skyline Trail

For some reason I just wrote a really good post and 'poof' the words are gone. So here we go again.
All this talk about camping and the fact that my back is being a bitch has me feeling the need to get outside but avoiding it for rest. I didn't have the girls today so I decided to hit the road.....after a nap.
As I crossed over the Bourne Bridge and saw the traffic backed up for miles I cringed but I let it go. It is what it is living on the Cape and I wanted to go. I'll worry about the traffic later.
Occasionally people ask me if I ever feel unsafe in the woods alone. Um no, not until you just asked me but thanks. Honestly I usually don't as I see very few people and I like to take the road less traveled. I also have Lilly now. I figure she would offer some assistance if needed. Today was the first day I have jumped a bit and took a couple looks around. I didn't like that feeling.
I chalk it up to the fact that I entered the Hills on the opposite side from where we usually do. I made a last minute change which lead us to cross Rt 28 and that also put us on paths that were closer to the road. We will be rethinking that plan in the future. Also in a short time I realized I was quite annoyed by all the road noise. I understand roads but this was like 50+ mph highway speed noise. I prefer the rustling of leaves and bird sounds. It also made it crazy to cross to continue on the Skyline Trail.

Once we crossed this bumper sticker greeted us at the opening to the quieter side and we started our climb to the top of Buck Hill. This afforded us a beautiful 360 degree view including the Boston Skyline. We met a group taking a water break and a few single hikers enjoying the view.

Tons of cool mushrooms could be seen in this shady section as well. No Smurfs anywhere. 

Soon I noticed Lilly seemed to be looking a little slower and stiffer and I was concerned about the heat. We have taken a few water breaks but she hasn't been as active since I went to Midnight shift so I decided to start back to the car but loop around on some more gentle paths. 
Soon we found this spot to have some lunch, take a rest and some hiking selfies. She wasn't as cooperative in the pictures as I had hoped. I think she is learning it from the kids. 

I am happy to report that once we headed back to the Cape the traffic had moved along and we were able to cruise right up to the Buzzards Bay exit before it slowed to a crawl. Glad I didn't waste time worrying over nothing. We were home and back in bed by 5pm. 
This day flew by but involved hiking and a ton of sleep so I am a happy girl.
Now if I can get this back straightened out I might be able to run again. Dreams....

Saturday, July 11, 2015

14 days away

Tonight as I sat under the stars seeing my first lightning bug of the year I realized I have 2 weeks to get my plan together for camping. I have printed a list of essentials to get my brainstorm started and plan on adding from there.
A good idea I just found was to add a tag to Lilly's collar with the campground name and site number. Just in case. I have a tag with my cell but you never know. I want to bring some glow necklaces for her for evening. Extra leash. Water bowl and treats for the hikes. First Aid kit.
I go from easy peasy to don't want to forget a thing. Jut in case is the theme here.
I think my hiking plan is going to be to tackle Mt Ascutney. I still can't decide on a route. I might have to do it from both sides. I want to see the waterfalls but the north side has a good trail as well by Norcross Quarry.
I learned a few tips from the REI class too like photocopy your map and carry it in a ziplock bag. Keeps it from getting ruined and wet in bad weather.
I also want to set up camp at home but looks like rain for my days off. Maybe we can't sleep outside but at least get it all spread out and inventoried.
I also plan on checking out the other end of Queeche which I have never seen. The dam end I guess.
God this should be fun. Squee!
Trying not to be too excited.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Queen B

So I was cleaning up the Blog tonight. Behind the scenes crap and I came across a post that I left in drafts for a few reasons. 
A. It was totally personal and involved another person which I think should stay personal. I mean I will tell you about a pimple on my butt but not a pimple on another persons butt. I just think it's rude. 
B. I went through a phase where I was overly concerned with who was reading the blog. I do this often. I believe some folks read this to snoop on my life when they are not physically involved. Like if you want to know how I am how about a phone call? Stalking then discussing my life behind my back is a little juvenile don't ya think? 
Then I just moved on from that too. 
Anyway I was afraid to read it. I remember the pain when I wrote it but was I ready to read it again?
It was written May 3rd. 2 short month but ages ago. 
I will say there was no tightening in my chest as I expected. I even laughed a little. 
The view is so much more clear now. The learning from this experience has been so great. I am not done but I am on a healthier path so when I read it and then came across this poster on FB I figured I should post again. 
One day about a year ago I decided a person can't ruin my day, my accomplishments or my life with their actions. I started to incorporate this into parts of my life but not completely. They say Life will keep hitting you with something until you learn the lesson. This is clearly the case here. 
No longer. 
Lesson learned.
I am not saying that I wouldn't want to have experienced my last 18 months as I learned a great amount of stuff and had some fun but I will never think less of myself or my needs. I will never deny or question that feeling in my belly. I will never be afraid to speak my feelings for fear of your reaction. I will never be afraid to walk away.
It is sort of amazing when you decide to be queen of your own castle. 

Dog Therapy

Today we met our dog behaviorist Janet. She was recommended by Falmouth Friends of Dogs to help us with Lilly's dog aggression. It was  a 90  minute visit while she evaluated Lilly and us. I liked it as I got to see her in the presence of a "real dog person". Like seeing your kids around other grown ups. She acted polite and listened well. Treats and cheese will do that to a dog. 
I learned some things I never considered but we also talked so much I am not sure I learned anything about whether this will be fixed. I asked and she didn't really have a definitive answer. I'm a little sad about that.
For now I will work on removing some of the things that trigger her and work on safely removing her from situations that push her past her threshold. Maybe these changes will help and we can go from there. 
A big one is the neighbor's dogs. The female stands at the fence and barks at her. Janet took her picture. She also took this picture above. Once inside she explained the stance of the dog next door and that the barking was aggressive. I always thought this was just an asshole dog. So my dog is being poked and bullied in her own yard but she is separated by fence. This would explain why the first time this dog was loose on her lawn Lilly ran out of our yard and attacked her. Not good. 
For now we will spend more time in our front yard so there is no direct visual contact. As soon as we were out of eye shot she stops barking. I am considering looking into some fence. Maybe 4-5 sections to prevent eye contact. 
Above is her and I working on her watching me. While we walk I repeat watch me and with the help of a little cheese she stayed focused on me while we circled around the back yard and she never looked towards the neighbors dog who was up against her fence barking at us.  I am still not sure how this will help me in situations I know we have problems with but I guess it is a start. 
We shall meet again in a few weeks to see how she is doing. 
If you need help with your furry child check her out. She is trying to build her business here on the Cape.

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21