Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Pell Bridge Run

I need to take my rant somewhere so hold on.
16 weeks ago I decided to cut all sugar and flour products out of my diet. I did it because I was tired of the roller coaster of emotions, health and weight. I was carb angry and the guilt after I yelled in a rage at the kids was more than I could handle. I was addicted and put myself on a roller coaster of drag ass versus caffeine that this body did not deserve.
Once I got a decent handle on the food I thought you should exercise, so I walked. Then I took the leap of starting the Couch to 5K after running the Falmouth Road Race in August without 1 training day. Not smart but it was the catapult I needed. This week I should be doing the 8th and final week of the Couch to 5K program. I ran 2 days ago for 25 minutes straight.
I like challenge and goals that no one else has done. I can't get caught up in comparing myself to you if I am the only one doing it. So this race was my goal, my end result but really just the beginning. I want to keep the food choices going as my lifestyle. I would love to add weights as I have always strength. I force myself to run hills and I hiked like a wild woman with the thought in my head I was making myself strong.
I am sure a lot of people don't want to hear it for their own reasons but I am so excited I could burst. I have succeeded and I haven't even run it yet. I met my weight loss goal and I am all signed up. I can't fail at this point.
What an amazing feeling.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Happy Birthday to me!

Saturday I turned 42 years old. I spent the entire weekend on my own and it was incredible. I was driving home today thinking how good I felt.
There was no party, cake or broo-haha and it was just perfect.
Friday my friend and I went out for BBQ at a great little place in Braintree. BBQ always works for this girl.
Saturday I got up early and got my run in. 20 minutes of straight running now. After a shower and a quick dog walk for Musgy I headed to Braintree once again and took the T to Boston. No real plan just enjoying a day where you didn't need anything besides a T-shirt.
There was some construction along the line so half way to Boston I had to get off and board a bus for 2 stops then back on the redline. Yay adventure, until you have to do it all over again on the way home.
I walked and walked for hours. About 6-7 hours total I think. I went to the Common because I love it but there was some big event and it was packed so headed to Faneuil Hall to look for that farmers market I had seen before. Nope, couldn't find it but that got me to the new Parkway and the awesome carousel with some of most beautiful animals I have seen.
After this I crossed over and walked along the Harborwalk an headed to Summer Street as I found an event that was an open house of sorts to over 100 artist studios. I walked from street to street following arrows and signs and saw some of the coolest places and buildings. It felt weird to walk into their spaces and see them work but everyone was so welcoming. Man I love old factory building. I was just as excited by that. There was metal work, painting, drawings, flower art, furniture building and cooking art. Too cool.
Lunch at the Barking Crab because Hell it's my birthday. I gave some advice about Pumkinhead to a visiting couple from Virginia and she thanked me by buying me a beer. Can't hate that.
Now to find my way back. After a hike and a half because I forgot Govt Center was closed I made it back to my car and back to Dave's by about 6pm.
Hey, he says. How about a Midnight comedy show in the North end??
Um, how about a shower and a rest.
Back on the T by 8:45pm.
Great dinner at the Boston Beer Works. Oktoberfest Knockwurst with braised onion. Yes please feed this starving German girl!  
Now off to the comedy show. "Raunch" was an improve show that was some of the funniest shit I have seen in a long time. The audience threw out words and they took it to raunchy in a second. My sex is like Jenga....
Now back on the T and in bed by 2:30am.
Slept like a rock and my body is sore but the only way to loosen up is to keep moving. SO the need for coffee got us headed to Starbuck's then a 2 mile hike thru this beautiful conservation area in Norwell.
While walking we talked about more adventures. I love that. Adventures keep me young.

Treated myself to a birthday flower.
                                                 Norris Reservation Norwell, MA

Thursday, October 16, 2014

What could possibly happen?

Once again I find myself needing to vent, not knowing where to take it and then being too distracted at work to sit and write properly. This has allowed me to think about what I want to write therefore thinking it though.
The end result is pretty much this.
Stop being angry and go back to doing what ever the fuck you want.
You are going to share your opinion about how this is not a good decision for me. I listen and then still do what ever the fuck I want.
No one ever said I had to follow someone else's rules. I don't know why I think that. Rooted in the please don't be mad at me way of thinking I learned as a child I guess.
I seriously feel  like slowly but surely I am unraveling this big knot of fucked up that is inside me. Recently a big part has loosened and that is good but there is still work to be done and every once in a while I pull and it tightens back up.
I am looking at life like this-I don't want to be afraid of being hurt. I may miss some awesome shit being too safe. I might actually learn some stuff from being hurt. Don't you have to actually tear a muscle for it to heal and be stronger?
I remember the day my ex walked out the door. I wasn't afraid of losing him, I was afraid I couldn't do it without him. Little did I know I was already doing most of it without him and I survived.
I walked into the bankruptcy office and that lawyer said "How are you going to walk away from it all? You have a family in that house."  My answer to him was you take care of the business part and I have a therapist for the rest. I walked away from it and I survived.
I now have a pretty rad life. I have some incredible people in it. I may have some unconventional friendships but they work for me so why the Hell not.
What I also clearly have to work on not talking about stuff with people that don't support me.
Pirate Status!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Pumpkin Picking

We definitely needed some pumpkins and I thought this would be as good a place as any. These pumpkins seemed to go for miles and when we walked around they some of the coolest shaped ones I have ever seen. You can't see my little on well in this picture but it is covered in nubs like a gourd so I called it my warty pumpkin.
Although Olivia chose a pumpkin twice as big as this one I love pumpkins with interesting stems and this one had the thickest stem I have ever seen.
This place was a fundraiser for a local Church and the girls even left with a sheet of face stickers to decorate the baby pumpkins.
Again, squishing in family stuff around the overtime.

Friday, October 10, 2014

I might be a little addicted.

I have a few and I need to get them off my chest.
So I got out for a run last night. I last ran a week ago but I replaced it with hiking for the weekend. I figured I was still using my leg muscles like a warrior so I wouldn't lose any ground, I would just change it up a bit. So besides the speed I lost once it got dark and I didn't want to get killed I was super happy with it. It was a run 10 minutes, walk 5 minutes and then run 10 minutes. I only struggles in the 2nd 10 minutes with about 4 minutes left. It happened to fall on a slow uphill that just felt like it went for every so I peeked at the time but kept running. I try not to watch the clock. It makes it seem like it is going on forever. I also found myself with some distance left so I added a couple more minutes of running at the end just because I could and I still felt good. It is breaking the rules of the Couch to 5K but only a little.
So this leads to the problem. I think I am getting addicted to the good feeling of running. I know, right??!! Crazy isn't it?? I need to take today off but I am already looking forward to tomorrows run. I get out there and I am psyched. My clothes are fitting differently and I want it. I want muscles and skinny and health. I feel like every step I take is getting me closer to all of these things.
I am also excited. I can't explain it but I'm excited by the slow accomplishment I am achieving. I luckily have found a couple of nuts who let me blab about it so I can release some of my excitement and I try to hold back with the people that want to show me their latest chocolate recipes. I guess I have to respect their excitement too.
So to fan the flames I found out I am getting a gift from my cousin that will put me closer to a brand new pair of running sneakers. Silly to some but wicked pissah to this girl.
So if you see me and can tolerate it ask me about my running. I'll be happy to tell you about it.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Acadia National Park

I will start by saying this is just 4 small pictures out of like 200 we both took over the quickest 2.5day trip to Maine. The time lined up correctly that my friend Dave and I had a weekend off and I am up for some adventure whenever I can find it. 
This was one of the best adventures I have had yet. 
We drove up Friday night after work to save time. Bed just after midnight and awake by 4:15 to make it to the Sunrise only to see fog and maybe the end of Mugsy's leash, yes it was that think.
No worries, we are 
not grumps and muscled on thru breakfast, town stroll and then to our first hike. We were on top on Mount Champlain by lunchtime. Hell man, I was on top of a mountain!! Totally awesome. Again no view because it was rainy but the trip up was beautiful. The blueberry plants were all fiery red, the trees were just turning color and just the rocky areas themselves. 
We decided to check out Bar Island as you can only walk there at low tide. Again I was just taken by the mix of mountains and woods on top of the ocean. We walked across the sand bar and as I am entering the woods there are 2 deer standing like 6 feet in front of us. 
Back in town we find great food, super dog friendly stores and touristy stuff. It was great to be a tourist in another persons town.
From this pic you can see my company is entertaining as well.
This is our second road trip and I hope we can do more. We travel well together and he is just enough of a goof ball that I can relax and have fun. I might let him hang around for a while. ;)

Don't let this picture fool you. Sunday was beautiful until you climb to this height and you literally climbed back into the clouds. AWESOME!! So we missed the view from the top but got to see it multiple times on the way up. Did I mention we have a 17 lb Boston with us. He hiked like a champ as long as he didn't have to walk in a puddle. This day included only 1 hike but we covered 3 areas we wanted to see. Can you say 5.5 miles with a Mountain to start? Yeah, I'm a beast now!
And finally on the last day we rose again at 4:15, packed up and headed to the top of Cadillac Mountain once again. We got to see the most beautiful star filled sky slowly turn red and then the sun popped up. Incredible.
The down side to the whole trip? Not enough time. I hope we can do it again but add 2 days, We left with a list of things we wished we had done.  We filled every moment from sunrise to exhaustion and I headed home with a happy heart.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014


Yesterday I got this super awesome ( insert heavy sarcasm) tidbit of info about my life that I didn't know.
Apparently my Mother pays for half the shit in my life. She would be doing better financially if it wasn't for all the help she gives me.
That's funny because I thought that I have a fucking fantastic job that pays well. Oh and I thought my Midnight overtime and 16 hour shifts were paying my bills.
The only thing I get for free is childcare so I can work those shifts and I am incredibly grateful for the family support that allows me to do that.
Hmmm, this is so funny and infuriating because
A. I work my ass off.
B. You do not.
C. It's a lie.
Taking a deep breathe as my anger returns....
Then I remember what is important. I know who pays my bills. My kids know who takes care of them and hopefully they learn to work hard for what they want and need.
You are jealous and that is a horrible emotion to live with each day. If you had an amazing life like I do you wouldn't care about who is buying my peanut butter because I don't care about how you are.
I am sad that this is a topic and not the beauty in my children, the food I cook, dreaded homework, the area we live in, the excitement for Halloween, Olivia's drawing, Ava's singing voice, bike riding, kite flying, heart rock collecting, dreams about Christmas, Disney and wearing high heels. These are the things that occupy our daily life.
I am also sad that I do not have a family like the one I have always dreamed of having. One I could lean on and get support from. One that isn't in competition with me but walking along side me like a team. One that does what they say they will both to my face and behind my back.
I will continue to live as an independent soul in a large family. I will not stay angry but I will remember yet again how I am forced to stand alone yet be condemned for my strength to do so.

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44

05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05

6/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26

6/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05

7/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52

08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31

08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30

10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10

05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17

05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50

08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37

10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00

09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31

10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20

8/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24

5/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25

6/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04

8/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04

9/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24