Friday, December 20, 2013

Faking it

I don't know about you but in our family you just always knew you kept your business in your house. So no matter what kind of a shit show I had going on as a kid I tried to pretend that all was well. Now as an adult I am not sure how well I covered it up knowing some of the things I went through. I do remember a few instances that I told people all was well when it really wasn't and I was scared. You covered all that up.
Now I am a Mom with my own kids and my own issues. Nothing compared to these stories but I am trying a different approach. I am honest and it is hard.
I tell my girls a modified version of the shitshow so they don't have a false sense of roses when there aren't any but hopefully they aren't scared.
For example, I am pretty cashed out emotionally right now so when my car decided to not start at 7:20 on a work day with no warning and no one answering their phone I just came back into the house and sat on the kitchen floor and cried. Pussy response I know but I just had enough. Ava came over and hugged me. Olivia just walked away. She stuffs emotion and doesn't like people to see her cry.....she is my twin.
I just explained the car breaking was stressful and I didn't know what we were going to do but we would figure it out. Luckily my father-in-law rescued us with a jump start and took them to the bus so I could get to work.

On a side note, it was just the battery but that was a sweet $120 1 week before Christmas. YAY!!
I did make sure I explained to the kids after school that is was an easy fix and the car was all better.
So the question is: How much do you tell your kids or let them see?
I don't hammer them with the tough stuff but I think they need to see a little struggle. They need to see the work involved in making our family work and I also hope they see us persevere.
Hey kids, shit isn't going to be handed to you. Sometimes you will fail and sometimes the fact that you keep trying is more of a success that succeeding the first time in my eye.
Also I need to teach them that it is ok to cry. Mostly because I need to learn it too.

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Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40
5/20/18 YPD Run to Remember 37.37 12:08