My ability to just keep on trucking, smiling and doing what I need to do it just about tapped out. The smallest thing seems to be just pushing me to the limit. What happens when I reach that limit? I have no idea as that limit is always raised to carry this load which is my life.
Christmas is about the worst. I am holding my financial life together like a house of cards and Christmas just don't fit. I have heard many attempts at trying to lift my spirits and I just really just don't say anything because Shut up is not an acceptable answer.
I am not sure what this lesson is that I am being taught by the powers that be but I am pissed. I am exhausted and over the struggle.
Luckily with the help of family and secret Santa's I went out and shopped last night. It isn't great but it is something and that is all I wanted. I feared my tree would look like the one above. I am pretty honest with the girls about the money situation and they understand but they also still believe in Santa and just expect him to cover what I can't. Lovely isn't it?
I need a vacation from my life. Nothing special, maybe fill my fridge with food, my wood pile and about 6 bottles of wine. I will spend about 5 days in my own house watching TV, cooking, drinking wine and sleeping. Oh sex would be nice too but I am not going to be greedy.
At this time I feel a little better about the Christmas situation so the cloud above it only grey instead of black so if you haven't heard from me trust me it isn't you it's me.
Be back in 2014.
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