Yeah, I do too.
It was a good trip to the top of Mt Pierce and almost to the top of Eisenhower a few weeks ago. Well today I get the email about the next hike in the AMC series.....
Wait for it .....
To Mt Pierce.
Seriously?? Add to that it is on July 30th which would be the first F'ing weekend that I have free for myself and was planning to go to New Hampshire to hike.
You know what? I think I'm over it. I really am a new hiker and want to learn as much as I can but at some point am I going to admit I know some things? I feel like I have signed up for kindergarten when I am really a third grader.
I continuously have trouble making their hikes because I am hiking bigger hikes.
I certainly want their knowledge but I miss a good hike to a place I want to go at whatever speed I want.
So today, I was talking to a new person and I got to explaining some of what I have been up to. He says "Oh so you said you liked hiking but I guess I didn't understand." So I listened to myself talk about it and became embarrassed when I realized how much I loved it. Explaining how it feels to be at the top of a mountain or just to listen to the sounds in the woods feels weird and personal like I let you into my brain and my heart at the same time. I realized it's my passion right now. It felt strange to share it.
Now I am not trying to sound conceited because I am not but I sort of started to think- Yeah, I have a pretty cool life. I do some awesome shit. Why do I ever doubt myself?
If you want to go back, I am sure you have read this before but I am saying it a little firmer every time. It is a hard lesson to learn. I am closer than I have ever been but still on this incredible journey to shed all the crappy layers that have been holding me from just being who I am deep,deep,deep down.
She's awesome and I can't wait until she is completely free.