For now we will say I am dabbling.
Well I found myself using the words of meditation today and I thought that was pretty cool. I may not be doing it at the level I think I should but maybe it's a start.
I am yammering all over this blog about growth and I am doing shit that I just normally wouldn't. The upside is you feel like a rock star when things work but when they don't.... well what now.
I started to knee-jerk go back to the negative talk.
A popular theme is maybe I should change the way I do things. Like if I was different....
The funniest part about that is really it is more like maybe if I was more the same. The same as everyone else, every other girl I think I am supposed to be like. But God do I hate those girls.
Well today I started to realize that as I started down that path I found myself coming back to the present moment.
Slow down girl. Deep breathe.
You don't want to change. Be anything besides what you are. You don't want to spend time with anyone who doesn't appreciate that this is who you are. You are starting to see your own coolness finally.
All loud, too chatty, inappropriate joke making, swearing, meat eating, boy haircut wearing girl that you are.
Life is good.
Roof overhead, great kids, great job, adventures in life planned.
Put those words away and keep smiling.