Friday, February 28, 2014

Kaleidoscope


Your horoscope for February 24, 2014 
 
 Your love life is a kaleidoscope of shapes and colors today, Jennifer, full of complicated patterns and ever-changing displays of beauty. Each time you turn, a new perspective is revealed and you learn something new about yourself and the people you are involved with. Remain open to the idea of partnership on multiple levels in which you experience different levels of commitment with different people. Every color is needed to make a complete rainbow.

As you can see I got this horoscope earlier in the week. I usually read about 3 a day. I'm not crazy about it, like it makes or breaks my day but sometimes it just is like a Ha moment.
This was one of them. 
I have been feeling like I have this menagerie of people in my life right now that just don't fit the bill completely  but surprisingly I enjoy each one in my life for different reasons. Occasionally I get to the point where I want to walk away from everyone but in reality does expecting 1 person to cover everything even exist? I doubt it. I do believe someone out there probably has most of what I need and want but I just haven't found them yet. 
I am currently in this weird situation where it is like if it was a different time and place this could be it for us. 
I am a little confused by this. What the hell do you do with this information? 
I can't change the situation that is holding that gap between us yet I don't want to not spend time with him. He doesn't seem to not want to spend time with me. So what do we do?
I am just letting it go. 
That is so fucking hard. LOL!!!
I am trying to live by all those stupid cliches people say but I don't really think they live.
If it is meant to be-it will be.
I will also not settle.
The question I am asked by friends-Am I settling by continuing to put up with these people who don't invest?
You know what? 
I don't think so and isn't that what matters? 
I learn more and more about myself with each of these people and each of these situations.
I have never been more open and honest with a person in my life as I am with him. That is the hugest lesson.
He knows he is involved in my Kaleidoscope and is ok with it so no one is getting hurt and no one is being dishonest. It is sort of refreshing. 
I really think it is prepping me for the ability to be in the most honest and deep relationship that I have always wanted but have never been able to attain. 
It is growth. Sometimes it hurts but in the end growth always makes you a bigger and better person. 

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Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40