Responsible one

Sometimes don't you just want to delegate this job to someone else?
Hey dude, want to be the grown up for a while?
Good, I am thinking I would like to drive fast with the music up and make some bad life choices. Okay? You got this right?
I'll see you in a  few days or maybe a week.

I mean I would never give up my life. I love this life. I did this awesome shit myself. No one can repeat it and no one can beat it but I do believe every builder needs a break.

I have been thinking lately about from where all these responsibilities come from. Basically so I can squash them, tell them to fuck off and walk away.
I don't want to be completely irresponsible by any means but I want to be ok to take some risks and make mistakes.
That is harder than you think when you trace these lessons back to what you learned as a kid. Messages that you heard when you were 9 years old may not have been what you exactly heard but they were your understanding and they stuck.

And Fear. The 1 million dollar question I am always asked.
What could possibly happen?
Well Hell, I can make this story the worst you have ever seen or heard. My imagination is a gem.
I guess this stems from things happening that you just never expected so I expect the worst.
I will say as of recently I have stepped off that ledge and I have asked and I have not had a building fall on me. I may not have heard what I wanted to hear but I also know the answer now so I can figure out my next move.

So for now I would like to continue to whittle away my responsibilities to the bare bones. I need to continue to work on saying no and meaning it for my reasons and being ok with that choice.