Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Free Spirit


I just read a Post Secret postcard that said "I feel like my life is a project that will never be done."
Oh man did that ever hit home.
I was recently trying to explain to my counselor that I wanted to be more of a free spirit and at the time I think we were talking about dating so I couldn't quite explain it but this morning just trucking along in my daily routine it was like a spot of clarity where I understood what I wanted to tell her. I hope I can explain it today when I see her.
I think what I meant it I want to just be. I don't want to care. Let me rephrase that. I care a lot but sometimes about the wrong things.
I want to be myself without a care.
I want to stop thinking about the things I need to fix and instead just list them like the color of my eyes.
Yes, I am a little needy.
Yes, I have no self confidence.
Yes, I do not think I am beautiful.
Yes, I swear too much and will never be a lady.
Yes, I am funny, sarcastic and a smartass.
But all of these things are what makes me me.
I can't help it if you do not like it.
I am so very tired of trying to fix what is broken when I would like to just stop feeling broken.

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Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40