I just read a Post Secret postcard that said "I feel like my life is a project that will never be done."
Oh man did that ever hit home.
I was recently trying to explain to my counselor that I wanted to be more of a free spirit and at the time I think we were talking about dating so I couldn't quite explain it but this morning just trucking along in my daily routine it was like a spot of clarity where I understood what I wanted to tell her. I hope I can explain it today when I see her.
I think what I meant it I want to just be. I don't want to care. Let me rephrase that. I care a lot but sometimes about the wrong things.
I want to be myself without a care.
I want to stop thinking about the things I need to fix and instead just list them like the color of my eyes.
Yes, I am a little needy.
Yes, I have no self confidence.
Yes, I do not think I am beautiful.
Yes, I swear too much and will never be a lady.
Yes, I am funny, sarcastic and a smartass.
But all of these things are what makes me me.
I can't help it if you do not like it.
I am so very tired of trying to fix what is broken when I would like to just stop feeling broken.
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