Friday, November 16, 2012

A little bit more of letting go

Today I decided to let a little bit more go.
I have to admit I feel like I am getting screwed again but really I have been getting screwed and I have just decided to stop.
2 things really. For some reason when I decided to let 1 thing go, I decided to let the other go.
All of these these include money and I am owed by people but I am tired of asking, expecting and then being let down. I also just want it out of my life.
The lesson will be not to do it unless you can walk away from the debt. It is an old lesson that apparently I failed to learn.
So I will work hard to catch up and then go on and take care of myself.
For the ex, it is just going to be better. Every time I see a bill for the insurance he is using but not paying for it is like a jab. Ha-Fucking you and Blue Cross again. So today he goes.
Why, you ask did I even agree to this? I was trying to help both him and me. I would help him keep affordable insurance and help me pay for the premium but he has never paid since the day he left. So really he is being helped and I am letting him disrespect me. It also keeps his business in my life which I don't need or want.
Lately things seem to be happening at just the right time for mysterious reasons and I am taking advantage of them. We are in a time where we must verify all of the people on our insurance. If we can't those people will be dropped from our insurance without a penalty, otherwise I would be continuing this until open enrollment in June.
I am also taking a chance by pushing his life insurance premium back to him. If he doesn't pay and it gets cancelled my children will have no back-up if something were to happen to him but I am no longer interested in paying that as well.
After I made this decision today, although it doesn't change my financial situation at all I felt a little bit relieved.

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Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40