Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Let it fall and build it stronger

I have eluded to my situation in the past but now it is all coming to a head.
I have decided to basically let my world fall around me. Not in a bad way. I do not need your words to build me up as I am working really hard on making this a good thing.
I am allowing myself to fail in order to rebuild my life in a healthy and self sufficient way.
Some people may not agree with it and I am sorry but I can (stomp my feet) do what I want.
If you don't like what I am doing I respect that and ask that you respect me enough to mind your own business.
That being said.
I am excited.
I am scared.
I am in a place where I don't know what is coming next.
I am a planner so this is all new.
My plan-the only one I have right now-is to be able to do what is best for my family.
I want to be able to take care of my family without working crazy hours that stress out my kids.
I want to be able to take care of them on my own in case something happens to my other sources of income.
I want to simplify my life.
So to do this I have to leave a house with an oversized mortgage, a car with an oversized payment and in need of a million repairs and get back to us.
I have promised my girls one thing and that is to keep them in their current school as they need some stability. With Olivia just starting her IEP and doing well I can't see changing that. They know about it and are processing it well with typical questions. They have both said they don't want to lose their friends. Come Hell or high water we will be in Teaticket until 4th grade.
I dream of a decent car I buy and own and fix on a regular basis-Isn't that how an old beater works?
I dream of a small little cottage house with a green lawn I can still mow on my own and a sunny kitchen. They dream of their own bedrooms, a yard big enough that we can bring their swing set and a landlord who allows us to bring Fatcat and Addy.
I don't think that is too much to ask to make everyone happy.
Think of us if you see a house for rent and you are a Falmouth person. I don't have a date yet but am think February will be the time we will be packing our moving truck.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are doing the right thing and I know how hard it is for you!! Seems like you are starting from scratch but your not. You have a lifetime of experience getting to where you are!! Everything will take time to adjust but you are headed in the right direction and have a clear and precise plan!! When you need help with something, don't forget to ask, you sometimes cannot do everything on your own!!

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40