Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Anxiety Level is Defcon 4

I can't explain it and I don't really have anything to point a finger at but my anxiety is at an all time high today. My chest it tight and I am carrying a decent sense of doom. I guess it may be that a few small blips in my otherwise delicate balance of my life. Nana came home early from work today not feeling good and that always makes me nervous. She is the third leg to this stool and we can't stand without her. Nothing else has really hit the fan yet but I just feel like I am standing with my toes on the edge of a cliff and a feather is about to land on my head.
My dearest friend recently posted this and all of it is true in my life so I guess I should be grateful for that. I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I need to talk it out (blogging is my therapy) to see that I have obviously worked myself into a tizzy so now to get out of it.
The pros of today:
Got my Cable/phone/Internet back and he didn't hand me a bill. He did have to replace the wire from the pole to the house so I am hoping that is their responsibility and not mine.
Made some slammin' Chicken corn chowder from scratch.
You know what I remembered while making this? Chopping and cooking makes me happy. I may start a food co-op where I cook and drop food off to people who want it. My kids don't eat anything fun and eat with their dad 5 nights a week. I end up cooking something for myself and eating it for 5 days. This isn't fun. What to join?
I just realized I have been back and forth in typing this because....Shhhhh....I am at work!! Now I have to admit I am feeling a bit better. I am not sure if it is the talk therapy or the thought of cooking therapy that is making me feel better.

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

I understand the anxiety feeling....I hate that feeling!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a piece of paper at my desk at work surrounded with pictures of my family that says this... "Stay calm, stay centered. The universe is in divine and perfect order". Which means to me, don't panic...your not driving this bus!!!!! Miss you!

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40
5/20/18 YPD Run to Remember 37.37 12:08