Monday, April 28, 2008

Back to real life

The party and school vacation is over. On Friday I went swimming with some friends as a last hurrah of school vacation.
I had bought 2 bathing suits last year as my body size was changing. The last one an XL. So I put it on thinking this will work for me now- Nope. I need a whole lot more spandex on this jelly body now.
I scoot on over to TJ Maxx for a cool new bathing suit for Olivia and myself. Olivia got a bikini and she is hot to trot. Her mother got a tankini and is not so hot.
Nothing brings you right to reality like a red Tankini.
I still have a complex when people look at me- Do I look fat or what are you looking at?? My good friend last night said to me "they are looking at how skinny you are now." That never occured to me. I felt safe enough because I was among friends so I didn't hide behind a towel or wrap and just took my T shirt off and walked to the pool with my kids. I think I might take a picture of myself in this bathing suit and post it to look at myself. Sounds weird but I just still have such a weird sense of my body and how I look. I still live like a roundgirl because that is who I am on the inside.
I really want to get back to the weight where I had the most confidence so you will now be stuck reading food posts and exercise my butt posts so bare with me. I still plan on blogging my crazy life too.
I got down to a low of 169lbs but am up to 178 and it is surprising to me how 10lbs has changed my feelings about myself. I can fall back on the "I am a loser" thing real quick.
I am traveling to Hyannis Wednesday to see my favorite hairdresser and I will reveal my new(old) haircut in a few days. Then I plan on traveling to Cape Cod Nutrition and stocking up on my protein favorites to get back on the straight and narrow( somewhat straight anyway).
If anyone reading needs anything while I make the trip let me know.

5 comments:

Through Thick and Thin said...

hey let me know when you go to hyannis- lets meet for coffee or umm protein shakes! lol
do you freak out with saggy skin (do you have saggy skin?) when you put on your bathing suit? it freaks me out in my thighs (and wings) i bought a coverup to wear to hide my thighs. sigh...

Barry said...

Your friend is right.

It's spring and time to add some more walking to OUR routines (I'm way off on that end too). My exercise equipment is covered in dust in the basement, but not for long.

I need to dust off the kayak too.

I expect we'll have new uniforms coming soon too.... You're doing great, so keep on keepin' on!

Fooseberry said...

Oh the sagging skin.
Tummy, thigh and boobies oh my!!
Maybe I should spend my economic stimulus check on some support hose.
Sorry I can't get together as I have a 3hr hair appointment and have to work at 3 but maybe another time.

henri915 said...

Jen, your weight will be up and down. Also, by looking at you, I can't tell that you've gained 10 lbs. I CAN see that you've lost over 100lbs. There's no placard on you that says "I'm a loser, I gained 10 lbs" even though you may feel that way. Other than the people you talk to on the blog, noone knows that it happened. I'll go out on a limb and tell you that amongst those of us who read your blog, we'll keep your 10 lbs a secret... ;-)
Bathing suits are awkward for anyone after the age of 13 unless you're one of the few who has the natural body to run around nude. Even when I was a competitive swimmer I felt awkward in a speedo.. and I only weighed 130lbs!
If it makes you feel any better, you look great to me!

Anonymous said...

Your not going to be happy with the way you look no matter what. That's one of the lovely things about being female. You can be 120 lbs with a tight tummy and think...I wish I had a smaller nose, or bigger boobs...or blonde hair or blue eyes....Good God no wonder the beauty industry is a billion dollar buisness. I can say that you are being stared at because those of us who knew you in both bodies are thinking "Damn she looks good" and WHEN you catch me staring( and I CAN'T help myself) I want you to know that that I am staring out of admiration and envy. You have worked so hard... Please give yourself a break and just enjoy you right now. You look amazing!!!!

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40