White Knuckling

A friend of mine posted in an online group I am a part of that she was messaged and attacked by a woman for being overweight yet pushing us to eat clean, take vitamins and drink water. She actually called her a liar. I call her a realist. 

This, in my current emotional state, pissed me off probably more than it should have but it also prompted some inner thought for me. 

I have been hanging on by a thread most days. I get close to normal for my days off and then I am back to the dredges of Hell come Monday which is essentially my Friday. This weekend is one of the worst. 

In any case I am sitting here thinking which I have had so much trouble with lately-clear thinking is not so easy right now. 

I think I am just trying to live. I know that may sound dramatic but I mean it in the most simplistic way actually. I have been toying around with this thought and not sure what it means and not sure I am ready to do it completely but I believe it is a process that I must start. 

For example-I am trying to eat healthy but worried if am I eating a rainbow, enough fiber, the wrong type of diet, too much butter, too much bacon? Sigh, a magazine article can cause me to feel overwhelmed . Must buy Kale!!!

I am not running enough, what is a fartlek and why aren't I going to track training to learn? 

Why are you not the Superhero that media says you should be to be a great Mom? 

Am I explaining it clearly? Not sure but what I am getting at is I believe it is time for me to learn and really believe that I am already a Superhero in my own little world even if I am not a super athlete, not a very good vampire or if I have a donut in my hand. I am not a failure if I ebb and flow in this life. I make the rules. 

Funny but just as I believe Facebook is the bane to my existence I also follow some pages that inspire me. 

This is what I just found there.