Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Queen B


So I was cleaning up the Blog tonight. Behind the scenes crap and I came across a post that I left in drafts for a few reasons. 
A. It was totally personal and involved another person which I think should stay personal. I mean I will tell you about a pimple on my butt but not a pimple on another persons butt. I just think it's rude. 
B. I went through a phase where I was overly concerned with who was reading the blog. I do this often. I believe some folks read this to snoop on my life when they are not physically involved. Like if you want to know how I am how about a phone call? Stalking then discussing my life behind my back is a little juvenile don't ya think? 
Then I just moved on from that too. 
Anyway I was afraid to read it. I remember the pain when I wrote it but was I ready to read it again?
It was written May 3rd. 2 short month but ages ago. 
I will say there was no tightening in my chest as I expected. I even laughed a little. 
The view is so much more clear now. The learning from this experience has been so great. I am not done but I am on a healthier path so when I read it and then came across this poster on FB I figured I should post again. 
One day about a year ago I decided a person can't ruin my day, my accomplishments or my life with their actions. I started to incorporate this into parts of my life but not completely. They say Life will keep hitting you with something until you learn the lesson. This is clearly the case here. 
No longer. 
Lesson learned.
I am not saying that I wouldn't want to have experienced my last 18 months as I learned a great amount of stuff and had some fun but I will never think less of myself or my needs. I will never deny or question that feeling in my belly. I will never be afraid to speak my feelings for fear of your reaction. I will never be afraid to walk away.
It is sort of amazing when you decide to be queen of your own castle. 

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Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40