THAT IS NOT THE WAY I ROLL.

It's been a week.
I just re-read my last post to see how I felt in comparison.
I am angry. I feel like he hurt me with joke on Saturday that we obviously disagree was not a joke. I have not spoken to him again except to explain that I didn't think it was a joke, the more he explained it it just seemed to be more of a dig and so I am really hurt now.
I have changed my mind about making mistakes.
I did.
I stayed when I wasn't being treated the way I want to be treated. I let him do things, although mild, that I wasn't comfortable with. I also didn't express this so I just let it happen to me and that was wrong.
I need to trust my own needs and feelings. I found somethings he said disrespectful and instead of saying Hey dickhead what is that? I tried to roll with it. That lead to a growing sense of discomfort in the end.
Why am I still doing this?
Try that shit outside of a relationship and I will lay it out there for you. I would probably lay it out flat like a map right now if I could but instead I just chalked it up to a problem with me. I need to be more tolerant, more open, more light heart, more..... I don't know. More open to taking your shit is what it ended up being.
This is not a hate it is a lesson.
I will not do that again.
Hey Idiot-IT IS OK TO SAY THAT IS NOT THE WAY I ROLL.
In any case, it has been a rough week. It is one of the busiest of the year I would say on the day shift. I need to continue to be a Mom and hey let's try to handle some personal shit like this.
I haven't had the sufficient time to cry, think about it and them forgive it and move on. I woke up after a dream the other night feeling a little clearer (forgot what that was exactly now) and I have been having a few pops of clarity then that is mowed over by lack of money and stress of managing the house.
Hey, life is never boring around here.