Hold that emotion for a minute....

I am angry today.
I think I summed it up in an email to a friend. I am tired of being a Superhero today. I'll be back at it tomorrow. I would like to be cuddled in someone's arm for a while instead of some pillar of strength. I'm tired.
Today's trigger:
I did not get a full child support payment so I called him and he says I don't know they took it out of my check. Next I call DOR and they say " He has met his obligation for the month."
That was like it. He has a limit? He doesn't even know about this but I am still raging.
It was like a symbol. When do I get to say, Yeah, I'm done for now. Thanks but you will have to come back in May. No more school lunch, bedtime drama, dinners cooked, tubs. See you next month.
By my calculations I have 11 years at a minimum.
Oh and if he asks me for a child to write off his taxes next year I think I may just punch him in the face. No, Seriously.
As I am on the phone telling the guy how ridiculous this is I just start to cry. I am having a hard time not crying.
I just kept thinking-Get it together chick, you have a party to put on for the in-laws. The exact person I hate right now I have to smile with for a couple of hours for the girls.
I promised myself I would go to my room tonight and cry.
The only thing I regret is food. I want to eat. I haven't had dinner. I traded it for beer. Not a good life choice but I don't care.
I'll put my superhero cape and smile back on tomorrow.
Fuck it.