Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My Mom doesn't mind at all-Really....Really?

This post is going to be full of  TMI.
As you may or may not know I have a daughter who has bathroom issues. She is way too old for this crap( well pee actually but anyway).
So I spoke to her teacher at the conference and he was passing the info to the school psychologist. I will try anything at this point.I expect her to be ridiculed and humiliated shortly if it hasn't started already. She acts like she doesn't care and only recently started even changing her clothes after an accident. That is just gross!
Everyday I pack clean alternate clothes in her backpack to avoid any issues if there is an accident.

So today she has her meeting with the school psychologist and then she calls me and boy did I get an earful.

Apparently I don't mind when she has accidents and I don't even get mad and I am OK with it because I just pack clean clothes for her everyday in case she needs them.
So I am trying to prevent humiliation but really she sees it as a ticket to keep this shit up(not literally). She also doesn't do this on Thursday because we are too busy with dance class and all. Are you kidding me? So you can hold on to this on Thursdays because it isn't convenient?
Also if you are a frequent visitor here you know about the level of care it takes with a daughter like Spiderman. Well, this is the root of all evil in my life right now. It seems that Olivia is clearly feeling the pain of all the time that it takes to deal with Ava so this is her way of taking my attention off Ava and onto her.
Fantastic! I again have reversed roles to the point where they both are doing negative things to get my attention which means I am not giving them enough positive attention. Great feeling isn't it?
I think she thought I would be bothered by it as she asked me to listen to her explanation first before I disagreed-This certainly made me a bit nervous.
Her response to Olivia was well you don't need those clothes because you will not be doing that any more. There is no need for it so you are going to just stop. She says I will hold those clothes for you here and if an accident occurs you can come to me to explain what happened. She is also to use the bathroom in the nurses office and they will keep track of her visits in case it is necessary. She basically told her to Cut The Shit!
I have no problem with that and I figure that takes a bit of the burden off me. Don't kids always listen to others more than their own parents anyway? She told her she was calling me to tell me about their new plan and they would meet on Friday again to see how well she is doing.
Well, Hiddy-Ho! I hope this works. I am to ignore all bad instances where she has an accident and play up the clean days like a birthday party. I have a long road ahead of me but I can't have them own me like this. Someday they will be 13 and I am screwed.
I also talked to her about the bedtime routine being like a war zone every night and she said we would tackle that after the bathroom thing is handled this week. I was surprised to hear it like that as if it would end this week. I made an appointment in a few weeks on my day off to tackle that.
What? Is that a light at the end of one tunnel? I have a lot of tunnels in my life and I am barely seeing any light at this moment.


Gia's Spot said...

She sounds like a good person to have in your corner as you head into single motherhood! I can say that I agree with her about the clothes, it is like you were giving her permission to be lazy and not try (in her mind) so it was ok. Kids think so literally and are not able to think outside that box yet, we have to be very careful what we do and say with them! As an example, MOST kids are so afraid to get their hair cut because to them a CUT hurts, has blood and requires either a doctor visit or a bandaid. If parents changed their words to a trim the child has no preconcieved idea what a trim is so it could be very fun!! Olivia will surprise you I think and cease the accidents quicly! Also, don't get caught up in the bad attention/good attention guilt trip, if you take each incident as it comes along your stress level will be tolerable! And as for bedtime? Good night, I love you (maybe a book read) and then the nightlight is on and the door is closed... for the night! No choice.
And now I will get down off my soap box (feel free to tell me to shut up!) long enough to tell you that I think you are doing a fabulous job in the short time you have been doing this and dealing with all the other issues in your life! You rock!

Bonnie :) said...

I think all kids should come with instructions. Your doing great...Keep up the good work. Loving those girls as much as you do is a huge part of why you will all be very good friends throughout your lives....Because GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40