Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Did it

I filed today.
I got it all together to do it yesterday and like an idiot I was making sure I had 3 copies of everything and I forgot to get it signed and notarized. Slip or a sign from the back of my head I have no idea.
Today I walked in and presented my packet. The packet I did myself to end my marriage. I always was a controlling bitch wasn't I?
I did not have the certificate for his parenting class because he hasn't taken it. She was sending me away and said when you get the date come back and I will add you to the calender for after that date and he can bring it with him then. I went to my car and began to think-I am the one with a day off to come to court-he has done nothing but sign. This needs to be done today. I called and got the date for the next class-texted him to call and book himself - walked back in and filed. Fuck It-Let get this shit done.
I will get a letter in the mail telling me when to come to court. If everything goes through we will be legally divorced 90 days from then.
How could my life change so dramatically in just 8 months? I will be divorced 1 year from the day he left. Amazing.
I have been feeling really good lately. Frustrated at times. My new life and my old life are coexisting pretty well with no real hiccups until today.
It hurt.
I was surprised at how easy it was and how business like it was for them. Thank You Jen Berry just make the check out to Barnstable Probate Court and we will put the guillotine down on the last 11 years of your life. Have a nice day!
I wanted to run, I wanted to go somewhere and forget all about it but had no where to go and no where to run. I needed a distraction.
I felt and feel alone. I know it won't be forever, well I hope it won't be forever.
I feel the need to be destructive. This is where the Summer gardening would help. Ipod on high and the weeds had no chance against my muscles and my anger. Now I just don't have the energy and raking isn't the same.
Tomorrow is another day. I am on the go from start until bedtime battle wars begin so there will be little time to ponder these things. Tonight, Pumpkinhead will hopefully help calm the mind down.

2 comments:

Barry said...

I'd give you a hug, if we did that sort of thing. But we don't so I'll leave it to the girls (Bonnie, where are you?) So, take a virtual one. *hug*

Wildeve said...

I remember when I went through this. It is the beginning of a brand new, better life for you- it was for me. I know it is so hard right now but it will get better.
All acts of bravery feel so lonely. Good for you. You are saving your own life. Hugs... Have a great Thanksgiving.

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40