Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Dreams

This is a doozey!
Typically I never remember my dreams. I can also sleep at the drop of a hat. Before kids I could never nap but now give me my pillow and a 20 minute minimum and I am out.
Anyway I have been actually getting some sleep this week except for last night that is. I set the sleep timer on my TV for 30 minutes and was finishing a show which I can't even remember now so I guess I didn't watch for long. Unfortunately I was up at 4:30am with a wide awake cat and child. I was thinking this is about the usual amount of sleep I would be getting, like 5-6 hours.I threw the cat out and told the child to get back to sleep. I am not sure but I think this dream had already happened and it was 1 of 2.
So it starts with an oil truck making a delivery to my neighbors house.  She talks to the driver and gets him to offer a big discount on the remaining oil in the truck to any neighbor who can buy it now while he is on the street. As the auction type bargaining ensues in front of my house the street is full of people like I live in the city. ( I actually live on a small street with about 10 houses so I am not sure who all these peeps were?) While we are trying to get him to sell us oil dirty cheap I notice there is like a smoky haze rolling over the roof of my house like a fog. I run into the door to find a fire making it's way through the wall and up into the ceiling-Like shit this is a real fire. I am yelling to get my Mom out of the house and she comes running to say she is alright and leaving. In the mean time a bunch of the people from the street are trying to get INTO the house to see what is going on. I am screaming at people - Don't you understand my house is on fire, it is dangerous and I could lose everything. Get Out! I actually get into a physical fight with 1 woman and she spits in my face as we are duking it out to prevent her from going into the house.
I think this may have been when I woke up. I awoke feeling disoriented, aggravated and a lingering feeling of anger. The dream started to slowly creep into my conscious and it prevented me from going back to sleep for a short time. 
The second dream is not as clear. I was in a meeting type setting with everyone from work. A few of us had to go to a class and part of this meeting was gathering info on where we were going including the directions. I stepped out of the meeting and missed this crucial part. When I returned to the meeting everyone was packing their things and leaving. I stood there while people left me behind and no one cared to share any of the details even though they knew I had missed them. It felt like it was being done intentionally. I was too afraid to ask and left to my car. The only good part of this dream was I found this car in my parking spot. I love this car but I then realized with a car like this no one would be willing to ride with me and I would never get the info for this meeting. I could hear their comments about what a piece of crap I had and it would have no heat and basically laughing. This used to happen to me when I did drive a car like this for many years.If you know me you understand this is like laughing at my favorite outfit. It hurts.

As I write these out it is giving me the chance to think about what they could possibly mean.
The second one is definitely my feeling of not belonging anywhere and no one wanting to be with me due to my quirky interests. Yay!
The first seems like it has to do with the gossip and bullshit I have been feeling swirling around me. I don't want these people, who I don't know, involved in my life but they are still trying to force their way in. So is the message-Let them in and let them burn while I seek safety? Maybe.
I think I like it better when I don't remember them.

3 comments:

Barry said...

Wow! That's a night packed full of stuff! I found that when I was on that shift and getting 'normal' sleep, my dreams increased in intensity and were more vivid. That caused me to stay up late. Problem solved.

I must not have been there at the meeting because, a. I would have noticed you were missing things and made sure you got the info and, b. I would ride in that cool-ass car!

I understand your quirky issue. Take it from a guy with no guy friends, or any friends for that matter.

When I was reading the part about the oil, I kept thinking "it's time for solar panels to become the norm". ;)

Live/Love/Life said...

I am with Barry in the fact you know we wouldn't leave you out of the loop and I too would ride in your car except on a day like today (If you had to have the top down haha)
Sometimes it is scary when you write your "thoughts" out loud. I too have felt left out and not in the loop (Not belonging)and right now you probably do feel vulnerable with "work". You just changed shifts and are the only one without a partner. But know this - we are all here for you and you would never be left out. <3

Secondly the other dream. Scary. That too is being vulnerable.

Take a little mini vacay collect your thoughts and breath. You are not alone (even when you want to be, haha)

bonnie said...

I hate those kind of dreams, I don't have them much... but I sure do remember them when they happen! Perhaps the fact that you have now just dissected them will mean that you can move on a little?...and last of all...What I like most about you is your quirki-ness.

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09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
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06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
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08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
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10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
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04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
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06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40