Friday, April 9, 2010

My Current Life

Want it?? 4 bedrooms, 2 baths Asking Price $289,000. Make me an offer!
In the last week my life has changed in ways I could have never imagined. Some of the changes I wanted, some of the changes I did not and some of the changes needed to be made although neither of us had the courage to.
I am learning that just when you think you will not be able to handle anymore something will come along and just jump on the pile. There, take that.
I would estimate my stress level between a 7 and an 8.
I have made the decision to move on my own which means no safety net. In a word Scary!
I am slowly packing a house that I feel is packed to the hilt with crap. Where did all this crap come from and why do we have it? I am trying to get rid of stuff in a way that feels good to my soul so I have been trying to list items on Freecycle to give away. If they are the kids items I try to explain to them that we have more than we need and others don't have those types of opportunities. Tomorrow a boat load of Princess stuff will go away.
I am also not dumb enough to give it all away so some things are listed on Craig's List in an effort to save up money for the move. Do you need a Humidifier?
I am also not against rolling the trash can up to a drawer and going to work because sometimes that is just how it has to be dome.
I feel like I am alone doing this but I do better tackling things alone. I just quit when I have had enough and go back to it when I can.
Selling a house Sucks! I have never done it before and I don't like it already. The realtor told me to start to pack as you want your house to look bare while it is being shown but the more I pack the more shit comes out of the crevices. I explained yesterday that I would need the weekend to get it together yet he called today to say he would like to show it in 2hrs. It is a short sale and I need it gone so I don't dare turn away a possible buyer so I worked for about 2 hrs and put away,hide,packed and scrubbed as much as possible then left. I just couldn't be here while people nitpicked my house. I know, I did it while I house shopped but it is still my shit damn it. After we returned there was no call, no nothing so I guess we can take the hidden items out of the oven now-Until the next time he calls.
I also would just like to know why when you tell people you are no longer together all the haters come out like a club I have just joined? Am I the only person that is separating from my husband but don't hate him? I went to the insurance company and she doesn't know him or I yet she was making comments about sticking to him because she had been through it herself. It was none of her business but I once again found myself explaining it wasn't like that.
I am flabbergasted by the people who want to mow him over. It makes me quite angry actually. I need this to go as smoothly as possible for my daughters. That we both agree on. Why can't people understand that? He did nothing to me but end a relationship we both know wasn't great. We both deserve better and the only way to get to a better life is to rip off the band aid and get to work. So now I am an open wound but each day I will heal a little more.
I have only a few things on my agenda:
To keep the girls first.
To not promise them anything I can't deliver or at least show them I worked my hardest to try.
To survive on my own.
I will survive but this is going to be one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life.
I was really trying now to post my whole life on the Internet but I guess now I can call myself a Blogger.


Lauren said...

You have a lot on your plate Fooseberry. You also have a great sense of what needs to be done to "Keep Truckin'". It all works out n the end.

Brian said...

Keep your head up, Fooseberry.

Por2gee said...

you're the strongest person I know, and I think a lot of people's hearts hurt for you (including my own), and I guess when people add in their two cents in they think they're comforting you, when in reality it's actually pissing you off. Sometimes strength is the only option you've got, it'll work out in the end, even though life doesn't come with instructions, things seem to work out the way they're supposed to most times. We're always here for you love <3

Live/Love/Life said...

My word verification is germi.....giggles.

Have ears will listen. <3

Gia's Spot said...

You will do this your way regardless of how many people feel they must one up you on horribleness or how many bash your husband, your heart alone knows your truths and that in the end is all that really matters!Life doesn't just happen, so I raise my glass to you making it work for you!

Barb on cape cod said...

Having been down the same road that you are on now...keep your head high, your ears closed, your heart open. People will always talk.Things will work out exactly as they are supposed to. Children are resilient, all they need to know is that they are loved,I am SURE yours do. Hugs, barb

Nana said...

Hope I didn't step on your toes. Will do anything/everything possible to help, Love, Mom

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40
5/20/18 YPD Run to Remember 37.37 12:08