Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Take the Leap

Ever want to take the Leap but just feel like it is way to big and you may not make it to the other side??
Or worse the other side is not what you thought it would be.
One time at band camp.... No really once I tried a rope swing into a pond-a real leap for a girl that never took many chances. Instead of swinging out into the pond so gracefully I slide down the rope and dragged my body down the hill and ended up a bloody mess in about 4 inches of water. That is my Fear.
I am a adult child of alcoholic parents and can pretty much foresee all of your responses - I know, I know. People tell me all the time that taking on the gastric bypass was huge and I should feel strong but truth is I don't. I did it and now I have no control over it, pretty much the same as before. It also leaks into the rest of my life. It is not just a weight thing.
Money sucks -I am not sure how much longer we can keep the balls in the air. For a while we have thrown around the idea of dumping the house but what a failure that is. We will never get anything near what is owed and who wants a house that needs work when you can get mansions for our desired price. It was easier when we lived in a rented house and kept it simple. As the income increases your creature comforts increase and now " Not so much". I am tired of explaining that we have no money to the bill collectors and listening to everyone else when I am just plugging along as I have no other choice. Is there anything I can do for you?? I am always on the yes,yes list and have a serious problem saying no. I am trapped.
What a failure I will be to explain to my children why we are moving from the only house they have known but it is difficult to see houses renting for half what my house is costing. My husband hates his job but he is forced to take what he can get to pay the bills. Sound familiar??
Right now millions of us are in this same boat I know but there just doesn't seem to be any relief in sight.

4 comments:

beth said...

You are so not alone, just know that. The boat is filled. Grab an oar.

Perplexed said...

Grab an oar and universal precautions because its shit creek.
We love you guys. : )

Gia's Spot said...

All for one and one for all! We are here waiting for you!(even if I am the newbie, I care about you!!)

Barb on cape cod said...

Sometimes life can seem overwhelming, and impossible. I am about 25 years older than you are....I have learned that things always get better. My mother used to say: This too shall pass". Hang in there, barb

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40