Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Forever a Round girl

Apparently I can remove the outside rolls but they are still clogging my brain.

I am leaving in .....I can't remember like 17 days for a trip to sunny California. I, as you know, need a halloween costume and am also learning it is about 90 degrees so that means peeling off some layers. As I start to shop on the internet and think about what is home in the closet I realize that I have already become more comfortable in my larger sweatshirt and long pants.

Do I have the strength to let it all hang out in Summer clothes again??? At least this Spring it started gradually but now I will leave a place at 50 degrees and get to a place where it is 90.

I am also going by myself so I can wear something I like and not something that is kid/dirt friendly. I am not even sure I know what I like in clothes. 3X clothes are pretty much the same but in different prints-a box with some sleeves sewn on so there was not much variety in my life when it came to clothes.Now I walk into clothing stores and I am overwhelmed. Can I wear something like this?? I was shopping Hot Topic online because at heart I like a little freak but aren't I too old for that crap? I have walked out of a few of these stores lately as I think the 19 yo employees are looking at me like I must be lost and looking for Marshall's.

I have to look at myself to find a costume I can wear and want to wear. That is two different things.

Why am I all stressed out over my fat when I should be thinking about a fantastic opportunity to see a side of America I have never been to before?
In my head I see this....

But I will be 36 on Saturday so maybe I need to go back to Dress Barn and get something to cover my knee and not with a leather boot.Nana Pole Climbing Boots-You have to think these are HOT!


Gia's Spot said...

I Say F&^%^^ the 19 yr olds and say if that is who you see in the mirror, why not be Her..... Jenn, I hear you being afraid and I for one only know the woman I work with who has conquered hills highter than I would want to climb and your daily "climbs" with your family life are amazing. Don't belittle yourself! Take another deep breath and enjoy the woman you have made yourself to be!! You are amazing and you CAN do this too!! ( I liked the stewardess costume, personally!)

Barry said...

What she said.

elvoy said...

Just be yourself. And Happy Birthday. I just turned 36 myself last month.

beth said...

That, and Jenn is pretty hawt too. Don't worry, I won't jump you in Cali. :) But, you are gorgeous.

Race Results

09/07/07 Main Street Mile 11:44
05/18/08 YPD 5k 52:57 17:05
06/14/08 Walpole Village 5K 35:27 11:26
06/21/08 Mashpee Fun Run 34:21 11:05
07/19/08 Mashpee Woodlands 36.49 11:52
08/10/08 Falmouth Road Race 1:29:31
08/25/08 Women Running Wild 35:40 11:30
10/25/08 Mashpee Firefighters 37:47 12:10
05/02/09 Cape Abilities 5K 34:59 11:17
05/17/09 YPD 5K 36:41 11:50
08/09/09 Falmouth Road Race 7mi 1:37
10/31/09 Mashpee Firefighters 5K 37:15 12:00
09/11/11 Main Street Mile 12:31
10/29/11 Screech to the Beach 5K 39.13 12:20
08/12/12 Falmouth Road Race 1:34:24 13:29
05/18/14 YPD 5k 44.25 14:17
06/1/14 June Jog 4mi 1:04 16:00
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:42:04 14:35
09/27/14 Girly Girl 5K 37:24 12:02
10/26/14 Pell Bridge Run 4mi 48:41 12:10
11/27/14 Turkey Trot in VA 5K 35:22 11:23
12/06/14 Jingle Jog 5K 34:42 11:11
03/29/15 Thomas Guinta Memorial 5K 34:14 11:03
04/19/15 St. Margaret's 5K 31:11 10:21
05/17/15 YPD Blues 5K 34:58 11:17
06/07/15 Newport 10 Miler 1:56:09 11:36
06/20/15 Mackenzie's 5K 33:55 10:54
08/17/14 Falmouth Road Race 1:33:51 13:24
10/31/15 Screech at the Beach 36:19 11:40
5/20/18 YPD Run to Remember 37.37 12:08