Unprepared-totally

OK I decide to be a big girl and have the girls over.
It was a great time and I was happy to be able to them to my house for once as the girls are with their Dad.
I did not realize how unprepared for a deck party I was. If I hadn't been so sick this week I may have thought of this stuff. But I did not even realize I had not 1 candle, tiki torch, nothin'. Well we stayed on the deck as long as we could stand it and moved inside.
Problem #2- Why don't I own a frigging shot glass? Because all of that was in the "man room" which means it left already or is locked in that room. Oh No, That problem needs to be addressed and fast. I will be shopping soon. I need a party cabinet people!
The crack dip rocked and the company was the best as always. I needed the girls. It lets me work through the crazy thoughts in my head. So after talking with them I woke up this morning and went to my garden with the Ipod on high. What am I going to go in the Winter when I can't pull weeds and think? My muscles are twitching and my bucket is full. My mind is sad. One of the big things I am realizing is I say to people I am not asking or looking for anything but that is not entirely true. I am looking to not repeat the last 10 years. I need, want and deserve better than that. I can not repeat that same pattern. I want someone who cares about me, will take care of me and not let me down. I have high expectations and don't want to settle again.
Do you know of anyone like this? I am now accepting applications.