Take the Leap

Ever want to take the Leap but just feel like it is way to big and you may not make it to the other side??
Or worse the other side is not what you thought it would be.
One time at band camp.... No really once I tried a rope swing into a pond-a real leap for a girl that never took many chances. Instead of swinging out into the pond so gracefully I slide down the rope and dragged my body down the hill and ended up a bloody mess in about 4 inches of water. That is my Fear.
I am a adult child of alcoholic parents and can pretty much foresee all of your responses - I know, I know. People tell me all the time that taking on the gastric bypass was huge and I should feel strong but truth is I don't. I did it and now I have no control over it, pretty much the same as before. It also leaks into the rest of my life. It is not just a weight thing.
Money sucks -I am not sure how much longer we can keep the balls in the air. For a while we have thrown around the idea of dumping the house but what a failure that is. We will never get anything near what is owed and who wants a house that needs work when you can get mansions for our desired price. It was easier when we lived in a rented house and kept it simple. As the income increases your creature comforts increase and now " Not so much". I am tired of explaining that we have no money to the bill collectors and listening to everyone else when I am just plugging along as I have no other choice. Is there anything I can do for you?? I am always on the yes,yes list and have a serious problem saying no. I am trapped.
What a failure I will be to explain to my children why we are moving from the only house they have known but it is difficult to see houses renting for half what my house is costing. My husband hates his job but he is forced to take what he can get to pay the bills. Sound familiar??
Right now millions of us are in this same boat I know but there just doesn't seem to be any relief in sight.